Words of Wisdom, By Will

I know, I know. Everyone thinks their kid is the cutest and says the funniest things. But Will has had a few real gems lately.

Me: Will, do you think our baby is a boy or a girl?

Will: Boy!

Me: Oh yeah, what are we going to name him?

Will: Poop. Bus. Poop Bus!


Will: Digger?

Me: I don’t see the digger, baby. I’m sorry.

Will: Night night?

Me: Yeah, I think the digger went night night.

Will: Shit.

(So proud over here. So proud.)


Me: Will, let’s go to the playground, okay?

Will: Okay!

Me: Maybe there will be some other kids there for you to play with.

Will: Girls?

(The pride, it’s burgeoning.) 


Me: Will, can you give Mama kisses?

Will: Nope. Bye bye. Go ‘way, Mama.


Will (sprinting through the aisles of Target): Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Will (upon rounding the corner of the soda aisle): Mmmmm! COKE!

Will (upon ending up in the lingerie section and grasping the cups of a bra): Hmmm. Mmmm.

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My parenting skills are clearly unparalleled.


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